Tears and Triumphs
by Blood Rose Vampiress
Summary: Renji and Shuuhei are dating, but Renji finds himself falling in love with Byakuya. Meanwhile, Kira is trying to stop himself from loving Shuuhei. Will these four men find joy? Or will they find sorrow? RenjixShuuhei, RenjixByakuya, ShuuheixKira. Yaoi.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** I've had this idea for a while, and I finally got it typed out! I know the first chapter may seem a bit boring, but it's going to get WAY better. There will be Renji/Shuuhei, Renji/Byakuya, Shuuhei/Kira, and mentioned Gin/Kira. If you don't like it, don't read!

* * *

If love was simple, then it probably wouldn't be as meaningful. At least that's what Renji Ababrai was trying to convince himself as he paced across his hard wood floor at two in the morning. He couldn't sleep, and if this shit kept going on it wasn't likely he'd get any sleep in the next five years! Shuuhei. Byakuya. Shuuhei. Byakuya. He couldn't decide. Or rather, he knew that if he did decide, a heart would be broken, and he didn't want to do that. Not to Shuuhei. The 9th division lieutenant meant too much to Renji for that.

"Dammit!" Renji kicked the wall in front of him, trying to vent his anger, but he only ended up hurting his foot. He had a problem, a big problem, and absolutely no idea how to solve it. He was in love with his captain, Byakuya Kuchiki. Normally that would be a problem in itself, because of the simple fact that Byakuya might not like him back, but it was in even bigger problem because Renji was currently dating Shuuhei Hisagi. Not casually, like one or two dates, but seriously. They'd been together for more than a year, and Renji thought they'd be together forever. He loved Shuuhei, he really did, but he couldn't deny his emerging feelings for Byakuya. Just looking at his captain made his heart flutter. His captain's beauty had never escaped him, but now he was aware of all the other traits Byakuya had besides his beauty. How he was always calm and in control, how hard he worked, how powerful he was… how, even though he tried to seem cold and uncaring, it was obvious that he really cared a lot. No, there was no way Renji could ever forget of Byakuya. But he couldn't just drop Shuuhei either.

Sighing, Renji flopped down unto his bed. Might as well try to get some sleep. He'd worry about everything in the morning.

* * *

As Shuuhei Hisagi stared out his window into the star-filled sky, he tried not to think about Renji. Or rather about how Renji was acted lately. His boyfriend had seemed so distant the last time he had seen him, and a little sad too. It did no good asking what was wrong; Renji always said everything was fine. But Renji was easy to read, and Shuuhei knew he really wasn't fine. The question was: what was wrong? Did he do something to make the other act like that? Or was it something else? Someone else? Suddenly it felt like someone had thrust a knife into Shuuhei's heart_. Someone else._ Renji couldn't really be in love (or falling in love) with someone else, could he? Could he be cheating? Was he staring into someone else's eyes right now and kissing them senseless?

_Stop it,_ Shuuhei told himself, annoyed. He mustn't think like that! Renji would never cheat on him. He'd told Shuuhei that again and again. Unfortunately, Shuuhei was insecure that way. He'd been cheated on before. After that it was a long time before he allowed himself to have a relationship again, and when he finally began to date Renji he had been distant at first, very careful, as to be sure not to get hurt again. But no matter how cautious he was, he found himself falling head over heels in love with the red-head. So far everything had been great. It was only recently that Renji had been acting strange. Shuuhei hoped it would go away in time, but had a feeling it wouldn't.

Annoyed and un-tired, Shuuhei opened the door of his home and stepped outside. Perhaps a walk would bring him some answers.

* * *

Kira Izuru turned over in his bed, and a few minutes later, turned again. No matter what position he was in he couldn't sleep. He couldn't stop thinking about Shuuhei. He couldn't deny his strong feelings for his friend, and it was driving him crazy. He tried to tell himself time and time again that Shuuhei was dating Renji, one of his other close friends, but it didn't do too much good. He had been having feelings for the other lieutenant for a while now, and it was getting to the point where he couldn't even look at the other for fear he would be found out.

Finally, after a few more minutes of tossing and turning, he stood up and headed for the door. If he couldn't sleep he might as well get some exercise. There was a full moon that night and the stars were shining brightly. Shuuhei just stood for a moment, gazing up at the sky. He'd always loved the sky at night. It was so beautiful, so mysterious. To think that there was a whole other world somewhere out there, far away.

He began to walk slowly, enjoying the cool night air. Soon his thoughts strayed from Renji to the mission he had just come back from the other day. He'd been leading a group of lower ranked shinigami against a powerful hollow that had recently been spotted in the human world. It was hard at first because the hollow was very good at not being seen, but eventually they tracked it down and destroyed it. The memory brought a smile to his face. He always felt so strong after a good battle. He didn't really love fighting, but when he had to do it he gave it his best, which was usually pretty good.

As Kira rounded a corner, he suddenly found himself sprawled on the ground. "What the-?"

"Kira… I'm sorry! I wasn't really watching where I was going…."

The blond lieutenant froze. He knew that voice. Shuuhei. Forcing a smile, he raised his head and saw the other looking down at him, hand extended. Kira took it gratefully, and Shuuhei pulled him to his feet. Trying to ignore the electric feeling he had gotten when their hands touched, Kira brushed a strand of hair out of his eyes. "It's fine. I wasn't really watching where I was going either." He laughed, and then quickly shut his mouth, hoping he didn't sound too nervous.

There was silence for a moment, then Shuuhei realized he was still holding Kira's hand. Quickly he released it, turning his head to hide his blush. Wait, _what?_ Why was he _blushing? _This was just Kira, one of his best friends! There was nothing to blush about. He glanced over at Kira, who was also looking away. The blond seemed distracted that night, anxious, and Shuuhei wished he knew what was wrong.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked softly, touching Kira's shoulder. The blond nearly jumped, then seemed to calm himself.

"Yes, I'm fine," he replied, smiling. The smile looked a bit fake to Shuuhei, but then again, what did he know? He really wasn't good with emotions.

'Well, I better get home," Kira murmured, but he couldn't seem to tear his eyes away from Shuuhei.

'Yeah, me too. It's pretty late. See you around." But Shuuhei didn't move either. Finally, after a few minutes of staring at each other, Shuuhei forced his feet to move and began to walk away. He didn't know why in the world he had felt like that. As he was just about to turn a corner, he had sudden urge to look back, and when he did, his eyes fell on Kira. The blond was standing in a pool of moonlight, his silky hair brushing his shoulders. He looked like… an angel. With a soft sigh, Shuuhei turned again and started home, wondering what had come over him.


	2. Chapter 2

It was only ten in the morning and Shuuhei was tired, but already he had an overwhelming urge to see Renji. To convince himself everything was okay and that nothing had changed between them. So, after a quick shower, he headed towards the 6th division, hoping he could find Renji quickly. To his delight, as soon as he turned the corner and arrived in the division, he spotted Renji talking to his 3rd seat. After waiting until he was through, Shuuhei walked quickly up to him. Renji smiled when he saw him, but his eyes didn't seem to light up the way they used to. Determined to ignore this, Shuuhei smiled back and kissed him softly in greeting.

"Have you eaten yet?" Renji asked, and when Shuuhei shook his head, Renji grabbed his hand and began pulling him in the direction of the division exit. "Come on, Matsumoto was telling me about a great new breakfast place the other day. Let's go check it out."

Nodding, Shuuhei followed Renji to the center of the Soul Society where the streets were lined with shops and restaurants. Near the end of the street there was a larger diner painted a putrid shade of yellow. They entered this, and to Shuuhei's relief the walls inside were snow white. The place was actually pretty nice looking, though really busy. It took a couple of minutes to find a table far at the back of the room and sit down at it.

Shuuhei grinned to himself the whole time they were waiting for their food, glad that Renji still wanted to spend time with him.

"What are you smiling about?" Renji asked, raising his eyebrows as he took a bite of roll.

"Oh, nothing. I'm just glad that we're here together. It seems we haven't had much time to be with each other lately."

Renji nodded but didn't respond.

"I really love you, you know," Shuuhei said softly, taking Renji's hand.

Renji smiled and squeezed Shuuhei's hand, but the brunette couldn't help but notice the far away expression in his lover's eyes.

It was three in the afternoon and Renji was sitting in the 6th division office doing paperwork. Well actually, he was really just staring at a blank sheet of paper, pen in hand. He had to write the monthly division report and was completely stuck. Usually Byakuya was the one to write the reports, but he had been called to an emergency captain's meeting a little while earlier and Renji got stuck with the job.

With an aggravated sigh, the redhead stared hard at the paper as if that would make words appear. He tried to remember what Byakuya had told him to write, but the only thing he remembered was the deep gray color of his captain's eyes. Dammit! It was always impossible to focus on a conversation when Byakuya was there. He had to write _something_ though, or else Byakuya would be mad. Often Renji found his captain's anger sexy- but not when it was directed at him. Well actually, that was kind of sexy too, but it scared him to death.

_Think, Renji, think! Okay, so if they're division reports, that means I should write about the kinds of things that happen in my division, right? Well, Rikichi and Kayori got completely drunk the other night…._

Renji dipped his pen into the bottle of ink and began writing. Unfortunately though, he hadn't gotten very far when there was a knock on his door. Before he could say "come in," the door opened and Rukia walked in like she owned the place, closing the door behind her.

"What do you need?" Renji demanded, exasperated.

"You don't have to be so rude," Rukia replied, standing in front of Renji's desk, arms crossed against her chest.

"Sorry," Renji muttered, sighing. "It's just that I have to finish this division report soon and I haven't gotten very far."

"What's going on between you and my brother?" Rukia asked, completely ignoring what Renji had just said.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You know very well what I'm talking about! I'm not stupid you know. I've seen the way you stare at him! Like he's a bowl of chocolate pudding with whipped cream and tomatoes!"

"Huh? Who puts tomatoes in chocolate pudding?"

"Inoue does. I had some when I stayed with her a couple of months ago. It's actually really good."

"Whatever.

"Anyway, the point is that you look at him like you want him. Bad. Like you're in love with him or something. So spill. What gives?"

Renji looked down at the desk. Should he tell her? Oh, why not? He didn't think he could bear keeping it a secret much longer.

"Okay, fine. I may like him… a lot… more than a lot…" he glanced at Rukia who was staring down at him, eyes wide, a look of disbelief on her face. Renji suspected she hadn't thought he would give in that easily.

"But… what about Shuuhei?" Rukia asked when she got her voice back.

"I don't know," Renji muttered, shaking his head. "I still like Shuuhei, and I don't want to hurt him, but," he shrugged helplessly, "I can't help it. I really like your brother."

Rukia let out a sigh, but she was smiling slightly. "Well, I think you two would make a great couple! Nii-sama has been alone for a while. It's time he had someone. Whatever you decide to do though, you should decide soon. Anyway, I got to go. I promised Captain Ukitake I'd help with paperwork. See ya." She started for the door then turned back. "Oh, by the way, I don't think writing about people getting drunk in the division report is what's expected."

With a wave, Rukia shut the door behind her, leaving Renji staring at his division report, wondering what the hell he was going to do.

It had been about half an hour since the emergency captain's meeting had been called, but still not everyone was there. Kira looked toward the door and sighed softly. His feet were getting tired, and he feared they would fall off if he had to wait much longer. Though he, Shuuhei, and Momo weren't captains, they attended the meetings since they were in charge of their divisions.

"Sorry I'm late," Shunsui's voice rung out as the 8th division captain quickly walked in and took his place. "I had a splitting headache." _Probably a hangover,_ Kira though, shaking his head.

"Now, I need to bring up a very important issue," the captain commander began, his eyes falling on each shinigami. "There have been reports of a very strong type of hollow in the human world. Three officers tried to fight it and were injured severely. We need to deal with this new threat, and quickly. There's no telling what might happen if they're not taken care of as soon as possible." He paused for a moment, thinking. "Lieutenant Hinamori, please find Lieutenant Abarai and Lieutenant Matsumoto."

Momo nodded and ran out of the room, and Kira stifled another sigh. He knew this issue was important, but his mind kept returning to Shuuhei. The other lieutenant stood stiff and serious across the room from him, and Kira wanted to stand next to him, to touch him, to kiss him… _No, stop! He's Renji's boyfriend, not mine! I need to stop thinking about this! _

Luckily, a few seconds later, Momo returned with Renji and Rangiku, who looked completely bewildered. The captain commander quickly explained the situation to them, then said that they, accompanied by Kira, Shuuhei, and Byakuya would travel to the human world tomorrow and stay until the hollows were taken care of.

"The reason I'm having so many of you go is because I don't want to take any chances. I have a feeling Aizen is behind this, and if he is, this may be more dangerous than we think." He turned to Byakuya. "You will send weekly reports back and tell us immediately if any problem occurs." Byakuya nodded, and the captain commander turned to the rest of them. "That is all. Dismissed."

It took a minute for Kira's mind to comprehend this. He would be on a mission in the human world with Renji, Shuuhei, Rangiku, and Captain Kuchiki. He would be with Shuuhei. And Renji. The three would be together. Kira swallowed hard and forced his feet to start walking out. On the way he passed Renji, whose face was white as a sheet. This was going to be one hell of a mission, that was for sure.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Well, here's chapter 3! Sorry it took so long! there's going to be some Renji/Byakuya action in this chapter. I'm a little afraid I made it happen too soon though. Perhaps it would have been better a few chapters later. Oh well. If anyone has anything they would like to see happen in the next chapter, don't hesitate to bring it up. And if you think of any ways I can improve the fanfic, just say so. I'm always looking to make it better.

* * *

"What do you think about this?" Rangiku asked Kira as she held a short, pink tank top up in front of her.

Kira stifled a large yawn. "Nice."

Rangiku grinned and happily walked toward the dressing room to try it on.

Kira held back another yawn as he leaned against the wall in the women's section of a large mall. Shopping wasn't exactly his idea of a good time, and shopping with Rangiku had made it number two on the list of things he never wanted to do again (number one being make a bet that he could drink more than Shunsui and then follow through with it. He'd had a splitting headache for almost a week after).

When he'd first gotten to the mall he tried to go with Renji and Shuuhei to look at sunglasses, but Rangiku had dragged him with her before he could protest. Obviously since Orihime wasn't here he was the next best thing.

Kira, Rangiku, Shuuhei, Renji, and Byakuya had arrived in the human world that afternoon and quickly checked into a hotel. Things went well until Kira found out he had to share a room with Shuuhei and Renji. All three men had looked uncomfortable, and Kira figured they didn't want him in the room as much as he himself didn't want to share with them. Shortly after, Rangiku had announced she wanted to go shopping, and convinced the others to come along by telling them that if they were going to be staying in the human world for a while they would need clothes that humans wore. So here they were, and Kira wished for the millionth time he hadn't agreed to come. The young blond lieutenant felt completely foolish standing in the women's section holding a pile of clothes Rangiku had decided to buy while she tried on stuff. How in the world was she going to pay for it all, anyway?

"Yo!"

Kira, startled, turned (almost dropping the pile of clothes in the process) to see Renji and Shuuhei walked toward him, arms loaded with bags. They wore sunglasses and had changed their clothes. Renji wore baggy blue jeans, a large white T-shirt, and a vest with lots of colorful squiggles. On his feet were what looked like work boots. Kira tried not to laugh. Trust Renji to come up with an outrageous outfit. However, Shuuhei's clothes quickly distracted him from Renji. The ninth division lieutenant wore tight black jeans and a gray T-shirt that clung to his body. His shoes were plain sneakers. Damn. How could anyone look that completely sexy?

Realizing that he was staring, Kira quickly looked away, focusing instead on Rangiku who had just come out of the dressing room clad in the pink tank top which strained over her large chest and showed, well, a lot, and a short white skirt. "How do I look?" she asked, turning around, and all the guys assured her that she looked great.

To Kira's relief, Rangiku decided that she had had enough of shopping for the day, and the four headed out, met up with Byakuya who had actually decided to come with them (to Kira's horror), and began to walk back to the hotel. Kira's heart was beating at an incredibly rapid rate as he remembered about sharing a room with Shuuhei and Renji, and he actually wished he could have stayed at the mall for at least another twelve hours.

Shuuhei wasn't happy. He had thought this mission would be a great way for him to spend more time with Renji, but instead of the two of them being alone, he had to share a room with Kira as well. Not that he didn't like Kira; it was just that now he and Renji couldn't do… erm… certain _things_ with Kira there. There was also something else making him uncomfortable, but he couldn't really tell what it was.

Turning over in his bed, positioned between Renji and Kira, he stared up at the ceiling as if it were the most fascinating thing in the world. There wasn't much else to do. It had been two hours since everyone had gotten back from the trip to the mall and the others had all gone right to sleep, exhausted. If he was this tired from just arriving in the human world and going shopping, Shuuhei hated to think of how tired he'd be when they actually began the mission, which would happen first thing tomorrow morning. They were supposed to begin to start looking for the hollows, though Shuuhei really didn't know how they were going to do that unless an attack occurred at that time. Oh well, at least Byakuya was there. Though Shuuhei didn't really like the sixth division captain, he had to admit he was always very organized and prepared. He would know what to do.

The sun was just rising when Byakuya awoke. He glanced around the room for a second, wondering why it was so small and didn't look at all like his room in his manor. Then he remembered the mission. He laid back, eyes closing again, glad that he didn't have to be in the office today to do paperwork. It wasn't that he disliked paperwork actually; it was just that he'd been a bit overloaded lately. The captain commander seemed to be giving more work than usual, and though he also was a captain, it wasn't like he could complain. Well he supposed he could, but there was no way he was going to.

Although he knew that he wouldn't have to begin the mission for a few more hours, the raven haired captain got up, and, after a quick shower and putting on some clothes he had bought yesterday (black pants and a white button down shirt), he walked out of his room, past the rooms where the others were staying, and outside. The only thing that could be heard in the still air was the soft sound of chirping birds. Byakuya smiled slightly as he stood in front of the hotel, breeze blowing gently around him, and tilted his head until he was gazing at the sunrise. The sky was a beautiful array of pink, purple, red, orange, and probably other unidentifiable colors. This was the main reason he liked early morning. The sunrise, full of so many stunning colors, was an amazing sight to behold. He didn't think anything was quite as breath-taking as that.

It was also very romantic. Now, since Hisana had died Byakuya hadn't really been much of a romantic. Actually, he hadn't wanted anything to do with romance for a long, long time. He had loved Hisana dearly, and the thought of ever being with anyone else had been heart-breaking to him. He had only wanted her. Since her death he hadn't once gone on a date, hadn't once looked at anyone else. But all that was slowly changing. Of course, he still loved her deeply. He would always love her. But that didn't mean there wasn't room in his heart for others. He cared for Rukia a lot, and there was someone else too. Someone he was starting to think of the way he had thought of Hisana. Someone he was starting to have sort of _romantic_ feelings for. That someone was Renji Abarai, his lieutenant.

Now, falling in love with your lieutenant certainly wasn't advised. It used to be thought that if captains and lieutenants had strong romantic relationships with one another they would be able to work better together. But that had ended when a captain started to seduce and sexually harass every one of his lieutenants. However, even though he knew this, he couldn't help feeling something more for Renji. He didn't exactly know why he felt this way. Perhaps it was the way Renji was so determined and tried his hardest at everything he did. Perhaps it was how he was getting stronger and stronger, and someday, someday soon, might even be a worthy opponent of Byakuya. Or perhaps it was the way his brown eyes shown sort of purple in the light and his strong, muscled body. Whatever the reason, Byakuya knew his feelings for Renji extended past the ordinary. Someday, perhaps someday soon, he would do something about this.

The minute Renji woke up he knew something was going to happen today. He didn't know whether it would be good or bad, but he knew it would have a strong effect on him. He sat up, glanced at the sleeping Shuuhei and Kira, then quietly got dressed and tip-toed out of the room. At the door leading out of the hotel he paused, then stepped into the cool morning air and almost collided with someone.

"C-captain!" Renji exclaimed, flustered. "I'm sorry. I was just… I didn't see you…." _Shut up, Renji,_ the redhead ordered himself silently. _You sound like a complete idiot._

Renji, suddenly aware that he and Byakuya were inches away from one another, took a quick step back, almost tripped over his own feet, and finally crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the building, trying to look cool.

"Good morning, Lieutenant Abarai," Byakuya said calmly, nodding to the other.

Renji tried to smile, hoping his captain didn't think he was a complete klutz. Unfortunately when he smiled, he made the mistake of looking right at Byakuya, so he was staring, transfixed, into the other's eyes. The smile quickly dropped from his face and he looked more or less like a zombie as he lost himself in those beautiful gray eyes.

Byakuya looked back at him, face blank, until Renji suddenly snapped out of his trance and glanced away, trying to look at anything but Byakuya. "It… it's a beautiful sunrise, don't you think?" the lieutenant finally mumbled as his eyes fell on the assortment of colors high above the trees.

"Yes," Byakuya said simply, as he glanced at the sunrise once more.

Renji felt incredibly stupid. He wanted to say something else, instead of just standing there in silence, but all thoughts seemed to have left his mind. His eyes had drifted to his captain again, who, luckily, didn't notice. Even though Renji's mind wasn't working, other parts of him were, and, as if he had no control at all in his legs, he started to move slowly towards Byakuya, until they were almost touching.

"Lieutenant Abarai?" Byakuya asked, a bit startled as he turned and saw Renji there. His arm brushed against his lieutenant's, and it was if the redhead had suddenly been hit with a lightning bolt, though it was much less painful. But just as electrifying. Renji's eyes focused on Byakuya's lips, just a couple of inches away from him, and it took all of his power to stop from kissing his captain right then and there. Luckily, at that moment he remembered Shuuhei, and took a step back. No. He couldn't do this. It wasn't right. He didn't notice the look on Byakuya's face, the slightly disappointed expression he wore. He was about to turn, to go back into the hotel so he wouldn't have to worry about making any more dangerous mistakes, when his captain spoke.

"Renji…." Byakuya's voice was soft, and there was something about it…. It was different from the way he usually spoke, but Renji couldn't tell what had changed.

"Y-yes?" Damn, stuttering again.

And then, without any warning, Byakuya stepped forward and pressed his lips to Renji's, gently at first, then a bit harder, and Renji knew he should pull away, knew he should stop this right now, but Byakuya was _kissing_ him, kissing him like he had wanted him to kiss him for so long, and Renji could do absolutely nothing but respond. His mind went blank again and he returned the kiss eagerly, then gently pressed Byakuya back against the wall, hands getting tangled in that silky raven hair that for once was completely down in all of its glory.

"Renji…." Byakuya murmured, and it struck Renji that his captain was using his first name, which he'd never done before. His captain's voice was full of longing. How he had wanted to hear Byakuya speak to him that way. To want him, to desire him and lust after him. It filled Renji with joy, and he had completely forgotten about anything else, including Shuuhei.

"Mmm… Renji… I think… we should… stop now…." Byakuya whispered as Renji pulled away for air then pressed his lips against him again, pulling him closer.

"Maybe… you're right," Renji finally said between kisses. But still they didn't stop. It was only until they heard the door to the hotel open a few feet away that they broke apart quickly. Renji's heart pounded as he took two big steps away from Byakuya. The person coming out the door, an old man in shabby clothes, took no notice of them and proceeded to walk in the opposite direction.

"We should begin the mission soon, so please make sure the others are up, Lieutenant Abarai," Byakuya said, voice back to the way it always was. Renji could see no sign whatsoever on his captain's face that he and Renji had just been kissing moments before, and the raven haired man brushed past him and into the hotel without looking back.

Even though his captain showed no sign of enjoying what had happened, Renji knew, just knew, that he had, and the lieutenant felt like he was floating on air. He turned and opened the hotel door, a silly grin on his face, and happily began to walk toward the rooms where Shuuhei, Kira, and Rangiku slept, eager to wake them up and please his captain.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** This chapter will contain a bit of sexual action between Shuuhei and Renji. I hope I got everyone in character . Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

To everyone's disappointment, the search for the hollows that day turned up no results. There had been no attacks and no one had felt any spiritual presence except for their own. Byakuya had contacted the captain commander and asked if the location was correct, and it was. Perhaps this just wasn't a good day for hollow-hunting.

After the sun went down, the four shinigami began their slow walk back to the hotel. They were all quiet, lost in their own thoughts. Suddenly, Rangiku's loud, cheerful voice broke the silence.

"I saw a pretty good looking club around here earlier! Anyone want to check it out?"

Now, all the shinigami were tired, worn out, and frustrated that their mission wasn't starting off very well. However, clubs were known to make you forget all your troubles, to make you enjoy a couple of hours, no matter how messed up your life was. And so, Renji, Kira, and Shuuhei were all for the idea. Byakuya, not a fan of loud music, drinking, and crowded areas, continued on to the hotel alone, while the other four began to search for the club.

"Oh, here it is!" Rangiku exclaimed, and led the way to the doors and inside.

The music was indeed loud. So loud it was extremely hard to hear, even if you shouted. Young human men and woman were out on the dance floor, moving to the beat of the pounding music, if there though it was pretty hard to find a beat. Off to the side was a small bar, and next to it were some comfy looking armchairs.

"Come on!" Rangiku yelled over the noise of the music, and grabbed Kira and Renji each by an arm and pulled them in, Shuuhei trailing after.

An hour later found Rangiku dancing with a tall, muscular man with long reddish-brown hair that fell down his back, all black clothing, and a tattoo of a snake on his upper right arm. Rangiku had been dancing non-stop, and many different men had gathered to watch the beautiful woman dance and wait for a turn. They were practically drooling.

Renji and Shuuhei were dancing together, and a group of girls, almost as many as the men that were watching Rangiku, had gathered around them, gazing with lust. They were also practically drooling.

Kira, however, was not dancing, nor had he been since they had arrived. A couple of girls had asked, but he turned them down politely and went to sit in an armchair. He didn't look like he wanted any company, so none found him. His eyes were locked on Renji and Shuuhei, watching them move rhythmically. Oh how he wished it could be him dancing with Shuuhei, holding him close, kissing him softly….

The blond lieutenant looked away, tears in his eyes. Stop it, he told himself, blinking quickly. It would do no good to think about these things. It wasn't going to happen, plain and simple. Shuuhei loved Renji, that was easy to see. It was Renji who held his affections, not Kira. Would it ever be him? Kira doubted it. Watching Shuuhei and Renji dance together, looking into each other's eyes, made him believe they were more in love than ever.

Be glad they're happy, Kira told himself, trying with all his might to do so. They're you're friends. As long as they're happy that's all that should matter. Kira knew he was being selfish, but it was not hard to be. Shuuhei was sweet, caring, and incredibly sexy. He was everything Kira dreamed of having, everything Kira wanted. He was someone other than Gin.

When Gin Ichimaru was still with the Soul Society, he and Kira had had a very close relationship. Kira had loved his captain deeply, and believed that Gin loved him too. He did anything Gin asked, and admired him above all others. Each kiss they had shared, each tender moment, made Kira feel alive, made him believe everything was all right as long as he had Gin. Gin was all he needed. And it was a lie, all a lie. Gin never cared for him. His captain's betrayal had hit Kira hard, and sent him into a deep depression for a long time. His world as he knew it had shattered, and there was no one there to pick up the pieces. Until Shuuhei came along.

Shuuhei and Kira had always been friends, but when Kira became involved with Gin, he saw less and less of Shuuhei, and they slowly grew apart until they would go weeks at a time without talking. Kira was always with Gin, and didn't have time for his other friends. And, even after pushing Shuuhei away, even though he never made the effort to be with him, to talk and hang out, even though he had tossed him to the side like a dirty sock, Shuuhei came back. It was Shuuhei who brought Kira back to reality, who made him believe that life was worth living again. Shuuhei had been there for him, day in and day out, was always ready to listen and give Kira a shoulder to cry on. It wasn't long before Kira found himself falling for Shuuhei, and falling hard. He thought that after what had happened with Gin he wouldn't ever love again, but Shuuhei had changed that. However, he knew that Shuuhei was with Renji, and had made himself forget his feelings for his friend, to pretend that he didn't need Shuuhei to like him in that way, that loving him as a friend was enough. He'd kept that up for a while, but now it seemed he wanted Shuuhei more than he had ever wanted anything in his life. How the hell he was ever going to get through this mission he wasn't sure.

Three hours later, Rangiku, Renji, and Shuuhei were back at the hotel. Kira had decided to take a walk for a little while, and said he would be back shortly.

In their room, Shuuhei and Renji plopped down on their beds, exhausted but happy. A night at the club was just what they had needed to lift their spirits. Shuuhei, however, couldn't get rid of the feeling that something was wrong. Something that had to do with Renji. Although the two had danced together practically the whole time, and Renji had smiled and acted like everything was great, Shuuhei had the nagging sensation that something was wrong. Looking over at his boyfriend, he found the red-head staring into the distance, eyes clouded over. Is he thinking about me? Shuuhei wondered, though he knew somehow Renji was not. The thought that worried him most was that Renji might be thinking of someone else.

"Renji?" Shuuhei murmured softly, and watched as Renji snapped out of his trance, eyes coming back into focus.

"Yeah?" he asked, looking over at his boyfriend and smiling. The smile though, didn't seem to reach his eyes.

He loves me, he loves me, he loves me, Shuuhei tried to convince himself, attempting but failing to get rid of the feeling that something was off between them. He got up and walked over to Renji's bed, sitting down next to him. Renji seemed to stiffen a bit, but Shuuhei forced himself to ignore it.

"I love you," he whispered, leaning close to Renji. "I love you so much."

"Shuuhei," Renji began, biting his lip. He had to tell Shuuhei about Byakuya. He couldn't keep going on like this. It wasn't right, and it filled him with guilt.

"Shuuhei," he began again, and turned to face the other, palms sweating. However, before he could say anything more, Shuuhei's lips were on his, kissing him deeply, fervently. Renji couldn't help but moan softly into the kiss, his eyes flickering closed as Shuuhei pushed him down until he was lying back on the bed, Shuuhei hovering over him. Shuuhei's eyes were needy, and Renji couldn't deny him these kisses, couldn't deny him love.

He sighed softly as Shuuhei kissed his collar bone, then down his neck, feather light touches. Then their lips were together again, and god, he tasted so bloody good, but still Renji couldn't help imagining this was his captain, that this was Byakuya doing these things to him, drawing these moans from him.

Shuuhei pressed his body against Renji's, his tongue licking the other's lips until Renji opened his mouth, letting him in. Their tongue's battled, fighting for dominance, and Renji's hands found Shuuhei's hair, though it wasn't the long, silky, raven locks he longed for, and tugged on it almost painfully, pulling Shuuhei closer. Shuuhei broke away to plant soft kissing across Renji's jaw, and Renji let out a soft sigh that was almost a purr, enjoying Shuuhei's lips on his skin. He imagined Byakuya doing this to him, Byakuya kissing him so intoxicatingly; Byakuya's hands all over him, touching and caressing him, making him feel so completely blissful.

Renji let out a gasp as Shuuhei's cold hands slipped under his shirt, making him shiver. Then his shirt was off completely, and Shuuhei was staring down at the perfectly toned and muscled chest and stomach, a slight smirk on his lips. He was the one doing this to Renji, making him feeling these things, no one else. All traces of worriment and doubt that Shuuhei had had before had flown out of his mind.

The 9th division lieutenant lowered his head and licked one of Renji's pert nipples before taking it into his mouth and sucking hard.

"Nng!" Renji let out a strangled gasp as Shuuhei's tongue played with his nipple, caressing it teasingly. He bit down gently, and Renji's head fell back, eyes closed, mouth open in a silent moan. Shuuhei smirked, then licked over where he had bit soothingly, keeping his eyes on the expression on Renji's face.

After doing the same to the other nipple, Shuuhei kissed Renji lightly one, twice, three times, hands finding Renji's hairband and tugging it out until beautiful strands of crimson locks fell around Renji, framing his face and making him look even more sexy, if that was possible. Their lips met once more, and they settled into a night of passion and desire.

It was late when Kira finally arrived back at the hotel. He'd been out walking for longer than he thought he would, and when he reached his room it was dark and silent. Kira turned on a light, so as not to trip on the way to his bed, and let out a soft gasp. Shuuhei and Renji were lying on Renji's bed, arms around each other, Shuuhei's head on Renji's bare chest. Though a blanket covered them up to their waists, it wasn't hard to tell they were both completely naked.

Kira drew in a shaky breath and forced himself to look away, quietly making his way to his bed. He flicked off the light, and lay there silently, tears running down his face, until he fell asleep.

* * *

**A/N:** Okay, I really don't think I'm good at make-out scenes. Oh well, perhaps I'll get better. I feel kind of bad for Kira. And Shuuhei. . The next chapter is going to bring some big changes for everyone, and it will probably be the most exciting chapter yet. ^^

Review please? ^^


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Sorry this chapter took so long, I've been having writers block for a while and just didn't know what to do. Anyway, there's lots of drama in this chapter, so enjoy! ^.^

* * *

"Damn it, this is insane! Where the hell are they?" Frustrated, Renji slammed a fist into the brick wall of a nearby building. The five shinigami were already half way into that day's search for the hollows and, like yesterday, they were having no luck.

"Calm yourself, Lieutenant Abarai," Byakuya said coldly, and Renji ducked his head. Great, now he'd gone and pissed off his captain. This just wasn't his day.

"I'm sure they're here somewhere," Rangiku put in, trying to look hopeful but failing completely. Even she was getting annoyed with all the walking around aimlessly in the hot sun.

"Perhaps they're too afraid to attack when we're all together," Shuuhei mused, attempting a weak smile.

"Maybe we should split up," Byakuya said suddenly and everyone turned to look at him. "We will cover more ground that way." The captain glanced around. "Lieutenant Abarai, come with me. The rest of you head east." Without waiting for his lieutenant, Byakuya started walking quickly west. Renji ran after him, heart pounding not from the exercise but from the thought that now he got to be alone with Byakuya. Sure they were going to be searching for the hollows, but still, alone is alone. Renji wanted so much to touch his captain again, to kiss him, to run his fingers through that beautiful, silky, ink-black hair. He knew, however, that Byakuya would never go for that right now, so he had to hold back, hard as it might be.

Guilt filled him as he thought of Shuuhei and what he was doing to him. He hated this, deceiving Shuuhei, he really did, but it was like he no longer could control himself, like he was a puppet in the hands of someone else and his moves weren't his. Last night he had meant to tell Shuuhei what was going on, but he hadn't gotten a chance. Well sure he could have forced Shuuhei to stop kissing him… but, well, he didn't want to hurt him. Somehow though, he knew that the longer he kept this up, the more hurt Shuuhei would be in the end.

"Lieutenant Abarai, pay attention!"

Startled out of his thoughts, Renji focused on his captain who was standing stock still, concentrating,

"Wha-" Was all Renji could say before many huge figures descended, faster than the eye could see, and surrounded the shinigami.

For a second the red-head could only gape. They were gigantic! And so many of them! The hollows towered above the shinigami and emitted a great amount of spiritual energy. This looked like a challenge.

"Chire, Senbonzakura!"

Renji snapped out of his daze as millions of what looked like tiny pink petals but were really knife-sharp blades advanced on the hollows. Byakuya's zanpakuto was so beautiful, just like him, and it never failed to amaze Renji.

"Howl Zabimaru!" he yelled quickly, releasing his own zanpakuto and watching as the attacks flew at the hollows.

For a few minutes it looked like it was working, like the hollows were going to be torn apart like they should, but then they seemed to materialize again, unaffected, as if they were made of water. And they were even bigger! Before Renji could attack again, the hollows were advancing towards him and Byakuya. Both shinigami jumped out of the way, and Byakuya released another attack. However, these attacks didn't seem to be working, and just as Renji was about to unleash his bankai, ready to give it everything he had, Byakuya held up a hand to stop him.

"They seem to be feeding off of our attacks," his captain observed, and Renji thought he seemed out of breath. If this was true, then what were they going to do? They were running out of energy and couldn't keep dodging forever.

The shinigami jumped again as the hollows advanced, then paused in confusion. Instead of coming toward them, the hollows stopped and stood frozen, as if listening, then, quickly as they had appeared, they were gone, like a feather carried away by a wild wind.

Control. The word came back to Renji once again. Was it possible that the hollows were being used, controlled by some higher force?

"Captain," he began, about to share his opinion with Byakuya, but the higher-ranked shinigami had started to walk back briskly the way they had come, lost in thought.

"This is starting to get on my nerves," Shuuhei muttered as he, Kira, and Rangiku arrived back at the hotel later that day. They hadn't run into any hollows the whole time they were out. It was true Kira thought he'd felt some strange, strong presence, but when they tried to track it down they found nothing.

"I'm beginning to think there aren't any hollows," the ninth division lieutenant continued, on a roll. "Like maybe this whole mission was like a trick or something."

"I highly doubt that the captain commander would trick us," Kira put in, frowning, "And what about those shinigami who came back from the human world severely injured? Something must have done that to them…"

"Let's forget about this now," Rangiku told them, opening the hotel door and walking in. "Come on, I brought along some cards. Let's play." She walked toward her room and entered, glancing around. After a moment she knelt down and began to shuffle through a pile of clothes and papers on the floor. "Captain Hitsugaya insisted I do some paperwork while I'm here," she explained, making a face.

The guys watched from the door, amused and slightly alarmed that Rangiku's room was already in such a state, and only after a few days here too.

"Found them!" Rangiku exclaimed triumphantly, holding up a deck of cards. "Come on; let's go to your room. There're more places to sit."

The three shinigami headed for the other room, Rangiku muttering that she should have brought some sake.

When they opened the door, they found Renji lying on one of the beds, face pale, looking completely drained. However, as soon as they stepped in, he sat bolt upright.

"You guys will never guess what happened today," he told them, voice low and serious as the others took seats, Shuuhei next to Renji and Rangiku and Kira on the next bed. Renji proceeded to tell them about the hollows, and when he was done, his friends were left in stunned silence, eyes wide.

"You've got to be kidding," Rangiku finally exclaimed after a minute. "That's no fair! Why do you get to have all the fun?"

"He could have been killed!" Kira snapped, glaring at Rangiku and surprising everyone. Kira wasn't known to speak sharply.

"I'm sorry," Rangiku said quietly, looking down, and Kira touched her hand.

"I didn't mean to speak so harshly. It's just that I was worried. Those hollows are clearly very powerful and I doubt they're acting on their own. I think that… Aizen is involved in this,"

Renji nodded slowly. "I agree. And that makes this mission all the more serious… and dangerous."

After sitting quietly for a few more minutes, Renji got to his feet and stretched. "I'm going to take a walk," he announced, heading for the door. "I need to think about this some more alone for a little while."

The others nodded, and Renji quietly shut the door behind him, leaving his friends lost in their thoughts.

Outside under the cool night air, Renji felt a little better. At least his head was starting to clear. He really didn't want to think about the fact that Aizen may be behind this, but he had no choice. His life and all of his friend's lives were in jeopardy, and, to figure out how to defeat the hollows, he had to think about what Aizen may be planning. Had to enter Aizen's mind (not a pleasant experience!) and think how he would think.

Deep in thought, Renji didn't notice Byakuya until he was right next to him. "C-captain!" flustered, the red-haired lieutenant froze, eyes on his captain. His beautiful, exquisite captain….

"Hello, Lieutenant Abarai." Byakuya's tone was soft, not at all like the cold voice he had used before when they were searching for the hollows.

Renji couldn't stand it anymore. He couldn't go one more minute without touching Byakuya. Leaning close, he pulled his captain against him, Byakuya making no move to stop him, and pressed his lips against Byakuya's, kissing him longingly, putting all of his feelings into it.

They kissed softly at first, then deeper, more passionately, Renji's fingers tangling in Byakuya's silky hair. "You're beautiful," Renji murmured as he paused for breath, and then attacked his captain's neck with his lips, trailing kisses, nipping gently at times, causing Byakuya to gasp softly.

"Renji…" Byakuya murmured, pushing Renji away for a moment so he could look into his eyes. The captain's heart was pounding, and he felt like he had the first time he'd laid eyes on Hisana. He couldn't believe he was going to say this… but he couldn't hold it inside any more. "I love you, Renji," he said quietly, touching his lieutenant's cheek.

Renji was speechless. Never had he imagined his captain's feelings for him were this strong. "I… I love you as well," he finally replied, his face breaking into a smile. When was the last time he had been this happy?

Their lips met again, and they kissed tenderly, lovingly, their eyes fluttering closed, arms tightening around each other.

They only broke apart when a loud gasp came from a few feet away. They turned to see Shuuhei standing there, hand over his mouth, eyes filled with hurt and betrayal.

"Shuuhei…." Renji started towards him, all happiness replaced with guilt. Before Renji could reach him however, Shuuhei turned and took off, running down the darkened street, turning corner after corner. He didn't know where he was going; he just knew he had to get away.

Maybe it was minutes, maybe it was hours later, he really couldn't tell, Shuuhei stopped to catch his breath. Tears were streaming down his face and he was shaking uncontrollably. The scene he had witnessed kept playing through his head, over and over, and no matter what he did he couldn't erase it. Renji… with Captain Kuchiki. No… it couldn't be… but he knew that it was, that what he saw was not a dream or a vision, it was real.

Trying to get control of his breathing, Shuuhei clenched his fists, forcing himself to stop shaking. He wouldn't let Byakuya have Renji. He wouldn't let Renji choose Byakuya. He would show Renji that he, and he alone, was worthy of him. And he would do that by tracking down the hollows, the very hollows that had given Renji so much trouble, and killing them.

With an unwavering look in his eyes, the ninth division lieutenant began to walk quickly, determined to complete his new mission as soon as possible.

* * *

**A/N:** Ah, I feel so bad for Shuuhei! Imagine walking in on the love or your live making out with his captain... .' eh, at least he'll eventually get Kira and be happy again. But until that happens, there's going to be a lot of drama. Anyway, what did you think of this chapter? Review please! ^.^


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** I'm sorry this chapter is so late! School's been keeping me super busy . Anyway, enjoy!

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Shuuhei couldn't do anything but stand frozen and stare. This was not what he had expected. Of course, he hadn't expected to catch Renji and Captain Kuchiki making out, but even after that he still hadn't learned to expect the unexpected. Not long after running away from Renji, he found himself surrounded by hollows. Shuuhei knew right off the bat that these were the ones Renji and Byakuya had fought. The spiritual energy they were emitting was almost unbearable. It was true Shuuhei had wanted to find the hollows and fight them, but he certainly didn't think it would happen this quickly. Even though there were so many, the lieutenant felt a strange sort of calmness wash over him. He could do this. He _must_ do this.

"Reap, Kazeshini!" Shuuhei commanded, setting off his shikai. Quickly his zanpakuto transformed, leaving him with two kusarigama-like weapons, each with two scythe blades. Rushing at a cluster of hollows, he swung the weapons, like a pinwheel, at the hollows, planning to chop them into little pieces.

_Piece of cake, _ Shuuhei thought, smirking, as he hit the hollows right on. _Now Renji will notice-_ "Shit!"

Shuuhei cursed out loud when he saw that his blades, although they hit, weren't doing much damage. Or to be more precise, they did the hollows damage, but the hollows were healing at an incredibly rapid pace. This wasn't possible. It just couldn't be. But, right before his eyes they were healing. Fuck. This was going to be much harder than he had thought.

Before he could react, the hollows came at him, circling more tightly around him. One lunged at his shoulder, and although Shuuhei was able to hit it with Kazeshini, made a deep, bloody gash.

_Crap_. Quickly tearing one of his explosive bands off his neck, ignoring the stinging pain, he threw it at the nearest bunch of hollows, producing a smoke-filled explosion. The hollows roared in anger. Good, those were taken care of for the moment, but….

Before Shuuhei could blind the rest, the hollows they were on top of him, knocking him unto his back. He tried blindly to swing his zanpakuto around, but to no avail. There were just too many. Too many tearing into his flesh, holding him down, picking him apart. He could feel warm blood pouring out of him and knew he must stop it, but couldn't move, couldn't act. His vision blurred as he fought at the overwhelming dizziness that threatened to engulf him, but it wasn't working.

"Renji…" he whispered dully, as everything went black.

* * *

"Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" Renji cursed as he looked all around him. He couldn't feel Shuuhei's spiritual presence anywhere! He had no idea which way the other lieutenant had gone and he was beginning to seriously freak out. He could still see that hurt, broken look in his boyfriend's eyes when Shuuhei caught him kissing Byakuya. After he had taken off, Renji ran after him, but Shuuhei had seemed to disappear without a trace.

"Dammit," Renji muttered, clenching his fists. The hollows he and Byakuya had fought before were still out there. It wasn't safe for anyone to go off by themselves. Ironically though, he was alone as well.

"If anything happens to him it's all my fault," the redhead muttered, trying to catch his breath. "Where the hell could he be?"

_Think_, Renji thought, trying with all his might to calm himself. _It would be easier to find him if I wasn't the only one looking… yeah, that's it! I'll get the others! _

In only a couple of minutes he was back at the hotel. Byakuya wasn't in sight anywhere, but he didn't stop to think about his captain, just raced up to the room he shared with Shuuhei and Kira.

Rangiku and Kira were still there, sitting on the bed playing cards. They dropped them after one look at Renji.

"What's wrong?" Kira asked, concern evident on his face.

"I… I'll explain later," Renji said quickly, not wanting to take time to tell them what happened with him, Byakuya, and Shuuhei. "The important thing is that Shuuhei's gone and I can't find him anywhere. There's no trace of his spiritual energy either. I'm really worried something happened to him. What if he ran into those hollows I was fighting earlier? What if he's dead? Renji was aware that he sounded hysterical, but couldn't seem to stop himself.

Kira's face had turned white as a sheet and he felt as if he might faint. Shuuhei running into those hollows? Shuuhei getting _killed_ by those hollows? No, that couldn't happen, it just couldn't!

"Come on then," Rangiku said quickly, showing a serious side of her that didn't occur often at all. "Let's go look for him."

Grabbing Renji and Kira each by an arm, she practically dragged them out the door, downstairs, and outside.

"Now, tell me which direction he went in," she said calmly, letting them go and turning to Renji.

"I think… that way," Renji managed to choke out, pointing to the left. "But I already went that way and couldn't find him…."

"Well, we're going that way again," Rangiku announced, determination in her eyes, and started running in that direction, the others following quickly behind.

Just five minutes later they all stopped in their tracks. "What the…" Kira murmured, frozen. "What's that spiritual pressure….?"

"The hollows," Renji whispered, fear gripping him once more. "Come on!" he took off, running faster than he ever had before, the others at his heels.

* * *

"Well, well, well," came a smooth, slow voice from the shadows. "It looks like a shinigami. Won't Lord Aizen be happy if I bring this to him?"

Walking forward, the figure, who had pink hair, glasses, and was dressed in a long, white laboratory coat, made his way over to Shuuhei. The hollows parted to let him pass, and he lifted the limp figure in his arms. "Yes, Lord Aizen will be pleased indeed…."

Opening a garganta, he stepped through it, taking Shuuhei with him. "Yes, we will have lots of fun with the shinigami," he smirked, as the garganta closed behind him. "Lots of fun indeed…."

* * *

Just five minutes later, Renji, Rangiku, and Shuuhei arrived on the scene. Rangiku gasped softly, covering her mouth in horror at the puddles of blood that lay before them, along with a very faint trace of Shuuhei's spiritual energy, as well as that of an Espada and hollows.

Renji sunk to his knees, heart pounding. Shuuhei had been attacked, that was for sure.

Kira just stood gaping, unable to make a sound. Shuuhei….He remembered the times back at the academy he had spent with Shuuhei, Renji, and Momo, remembered laughing and joking with them. Remembered when they were all lieutenants, having sake with them, Rangiku, Shunsui, and Omaeda. No, this couldn't be happening, it just couldn't be! Not to Shuuhei!

"Come," came a soft voice from behind them, and they all turned to see Byakuya standing there, face grave. "Come back to the hotel. We must decide what to do next."

With heavy hearts, the three lieutenants followed him, each wondering if they'd ever see their friend again.

* * *

**A/N:** I'm horrible with battle scenes, as you can probably tell. Not to mention I hardly know anything about Shuuhei's techs. The only one I know how to fight with is Byakuya *laughs*. But I hope it was somewhat okay. I ended up going back and reading Shuuhei's page on Bleach Wiki five times, lol.

I also learned that Shuuhei has a crush on Rangiku o.o that was certainly news to me! I'm not too fond of that pairing. I prefer Shuuhei with Kira or Renji or Kensei. I do like Kira with Rangiku, though. But don't worry, Kira won't be with her in this fic!

Anyway, please tell me what you think! I always love reviews, makes me more eager to write! =D


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